32 -36 weeks and other December events

As, I write this post, it is September nearly 9 months since these pictures were taken. I am trying to go back and update the past few months. December was a very difficult month for many reasons that you can read about and I think I became a bit depressed. Not being able to leave the room for 5 weeks and the fear if you strain yourself somehow your babies will fall out of your body and possibly die, keeps you under pressure.

32 weeks

Front view of Momma and the boys at 32 weeks.

Momma's growing the boys well! 

On Saturday, December 1st my beautiful sister Megan married a wonderful man named Fred. The night before we were able to successfully Skype during the rehearsal at the church. So Megan's wonderful friends skyped me in before the ceremony and I got to see Megan getting ready, mom and dad and all the other relatives. Megan was a beautiful bride. Megan showed me her dress and bouquet. Darling Megan attached a charm with my picture on it so I could walk down the aisle with her.  When she showed me that I lost it for a bit. A lovely, thoughtful gesture, but a painful reminder that I was not there. I did try to participate a bit by wearing the snowflake jewelry the bridesmaids were to wear during the wedding that she had brought me when visiting me at the hospital. I am deeply touched that she included me.  We chatted a bit and then Susan one of the bridesmaids carried the laptop thru the hallways to a special table setup at the front of the church so I and Elliot could view the ceremony. Another of Megan's friends, Amanda, took over the laptop duties explaining what was going on, moving the laptop around so we could see the church and explaining to people why there was a laptop attending the wedding. Amanda turned the sound feature off so any noises I made would not echo thru the church. Through the miracle of technology I able to watch my sister walk down the aisle and attend her wedding. Truly, one of the worst days of being on bed rest was missing my baby sister's special day.

After attending the wedding, Elliot and I rested a bit before our friends came to visit. Elliot and I have some very good friends from college, Pam and Mike and Melanie and Cody, that we enjoy getting together with, even though we are spread across North Carolina. Cody is finishing up his medical residency this year and always attend a big medical conference here in Asheville. Usually, Melanie and Cody stay a couple days with us and Pam and Mike drive over and we all have an afternoon and evening of food, fun and games. This year we celebrated in the hospital. It was wonderful to get together and have a semblance of normalcy.

3 Mommas to be! There are 4 children in this picture :) Melanie is 16 weeks, Pam is 20 weeks and I am 32. 

3 Daddies to be! There are NO children in this picture, but it looks like there could be ;)

3 Mommas and 6 kids in this picture..some are just really good a hiding, though my breech baby Jacob wants to come out and play! Melanie, Madelyn, and baby Wingler to be, Riley, Pam and baby Gunter to be, Amy and babies Lunsford to be!  

Elliot finally had that shovel for all those holes he gets himself into...

Those good feelings evaporated Sunday afternoon when they brought my dinner in at 4:30.  I had a breakdown over my dinner knowing that once again I would be eating the same food, from the same menu, that I had been enduring the past 6 weeks. I sobbed so hard I made myself sick and couldn't choke down my food to eat it.  Elliot ended up going and getting me some take out for dinner, but I was in a mental mess of thinking about all the events, people and things I was missing out on. Being Sunday, I knew I would also be alone that night as Elliot needed to sleep at home to be ready for another week at school. 

The week did not get much better. On Tuesday, December 4, Elliot's Mama passed away. I know these past few months have been especially hard for Jan with caring for her mother and trying to keep me in good spirits. The funeral was held on Thursday and Elliot served as one of the pallbearers. Elliot drove in his own car, just in case I would call and say I was in labor. I do feel a bit sad that she will not meet the boys here on Earth, but I do know that she was excited that there would be another set of twins in her family.

The highlight of the week was my Friday ultrasound. The boys are growing beautifully. Baby A, Jacob, is measuring at 34 weeks growth and 4 lbs. 14 oz. Baby B, Jonathan, is keeping pace at also 34 weeks and 4 lbs. 11 oz. Even though Elliot was not able to be there for the ultrasound, due to him still at school and when they can fit my ultrasound into the schedule, the nurses do a good job of encouraging me. They all gather around and want to see ultrasound pictures and hear the boys stats. It's nice to know they care.

 33 weeks

Momma in, literally, her home away from home-a hospital bed.

Thirty three weeks prove to be much better. On Saturday, December 8, the doctors determined that I was stable enough to ride in the wheelchair for 30 minute periods around the hospital. Due to Jacob's continued breech presentation, as shown in Friday's ultrasound, it is not advised that I go home. Not what I wanted to hear, but I do not want to be at home and have an emergency and risk the boys and I's lives, so I stay put. Elliot takes me for a quick spin around the 4th floor, but I do not last long-my bottom goes numb from sitting like that! I try to be thankful that I am slowly gaining some freedom back.

That Saturday I try to cheer myself and begin working on Christmas cards. I've always enjoyed sending Christmas cards and figure this activity will keep my occupied for a bit. On Tuesday, Elliot takes me outside in the wheelchair. I am on the 4th floor and Elliot has to get me to the ground floor to get outside to a little alcove. The elevator ride was smooth, but the unexpected, quick ride made me nauseous. We only stayed outside for about 10 minutes as it was a bit cold and rainy. I had not been outside in 1 1/2 months, so it was definitely strange. The elevator ride back up was not as bad, but I was still surprised that the initial ride made me sick. 

On Thursday, the doctors give me a delivery date of January 5. The senior high risk maternal fetal medicine doctor at the hospital and my doctors meet and pick that date since I will be officially at 37 weeks (excellent for twin growth) and my primary care OBGYN will be on call and able to do my C section. Elliot and I had been pushing for a date since these weeks have been incredibly hard and stressful for us and our families. Dr Wright fully expects that the boys will be here before then and has told me on more than one occasion that the Drs. do not know why I am still pregnant, there is nothing there (meaning I have no cervix left to hold back these boys) and it's a miracle I'm still pregnant. I have also reminded him that there are many people around town and the country praying for me, these boys and our family. Knowing people care and are praying for me is what is keeping me sane, somehow.

Friday, I'm watching TV and learn of the shooting at the elementary school in Sandyhook, Connecticut. In my entire time on bedrest, it is the only time I am glad I am not at school. Not for a selfish fear of my life; if I must, I will die protecting my students. Not because of any fear that such a thing could happen at my school, but having to answer questions from the kids.  How do you explain to kids that some people are deeply sick and hurt others for no reason, but they are safe at our little school,  knowing that that is really not an adequate answer. Knowing that our country has some twisted, backward logic and lobbyists that believe gun control is a bad thing. I come from a hunting family, but it sickens me how easily anyone can obtain assault weapons. How many innocent children must die or be left with scars of terror watching your classmates die? What number must we reach? Ok, off my soapbox...

Smiling because I can finally go outside in a wheelchair!

Front view of Momma and the boys!

Elliot mentioned to his students about all the equipment baby's require and that we did not have hats.  One of his students, Megan M., went home and knitted these for us. High schoolers can be so thoughtful!

34 weeks

As another week passes, Elliot and I decide he better get some errands done before the boys impending arrival.  Elliot spend Saturday running errands, get the oil changed in my car and getting a pertussis and flu shot. Elliot does not like shots (ok, wimp, who does?) but I tell him I did not sit in the hospital all these weeks for you to bring home some germ and give it to the boys. Besides if you have some reaction to the flu shot, you can fight it off over winter break and before January 5th. HA Ha.

Monday brings homemade Christmas cookies from the nurse practitioner, also named Amy, at my OBGYN. She makes rounds at the hospital too, and I enjoy her upbeat manner. She had said she would be making cookies that weekend and would bring me some. I kinda blew it off, thinking she would forget. She didn't! The homemade cookies were a sad reminder of another Christmas tradition that I was missing, but it was nice to still be able to enjoy a decorated sugar cookie. It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. It was also a reminder to me that when I get out of here, that I will overcome my personal uneasiness of hospitals and go visit and cheer those stuck in the hospital.

Getting bigger every day

Are we done yet?

On Wednesday, one of the doctors from my OBGYN practice and the nurse waltz into my room during my lunch and announce that I need some more lab work done. First, I was annoyed that I was in the middle of eating my lunch, evident by my tray of half eaten food, and would have to stop eating as not to be rude. Couldn't they come back after or visited before? Second, the nurse is my least favorite because I think she is a bit on the dramatic side and the doctor is my least favorite because his bedside manner makes me uncomfortable with its awkward long pauses. So they have been reviewing my chart and think my blood pressure has been too high several times and may be a sign of preeclampsia. So I will have my blood drawn and then have to provide daily urine samples-back to feeling like a lab rat again. They also brought up my bout of vomiting from over a week previous, (which I think was induced by brushing my teeth and hitting my gag reflex). So dramatic nurse sees all of this as signs of preeclampsia though I am not having any major signs of it. GRRRR!

As I figured, the lab showed that my blood work and urine sample were just fine and do not have any indications of preeclampsia. Unfortunately, I must continue to provide daily urine samples to make sure nothing is developing. I am beginning to think the doctors are getting bored and need to prove that they are taking care of my stable, boring, they can't believe I've made it to 34 weeks pregnant self. All of this hype over nothing reminds me of a few weeks ago when they thought I had a bladder infection. I showed none to limited signs of a bladder infection, but let's sample and test every iota of body fluids they can get.

Friday brings another visit from the therapy dog, Misha. Yay!  Elliot is now out for winter break. Double yay!

 35 weeks

Knowing Christmas would be arriving soon and maybe/maybe not my boys, and I would be stuck in this hospital, I stopped writing my daily notes in my notebook for my blog posts. I mainly recall from this week being depressed that I was still at the hospital and being insanely jealous of the women who got to home and be with their families. The floor had been full to capacity, plus three other rooms on the labor floor, but they try to clear as many people out as they can and send them home for the holidays.  By the 24th, 25th and 26th, I think there was only me and 3 other critical patients left on the MFMU floor. The holidays also bring the "weird" nurses that either don't mind working the holiday or don't have any plans. I don't know how else to describe them other than weird due to their long finger nails, old fashioned hair dos, scrub tops that have strange patterns and have been washed so much they look almost faded and threadbare. They also don't seem to know how to use the equipment as well as the nurses I see most days. Just something slightly "off".  The only doctor on call during this period is the same Dr., the Jewish one. Go figure...

The best part of this weeks is that I am allowed to walk the hall of the MFMU. I exit my room to the right and walk past the nurses station, several patient rooms and then loop back up at the locked door, which you must be buzzed in at to access the floor. I start back up the hall passing the ice machine, small patient refrigerator, several patient rooms and keep walking to the large windowed crosswalk between MFMU and labor and delivery. I stop here to rest and look at the view. I can see the 2 hospital helicopters that take off from the landing pad and highway 25 leading up into Biltmore. I touch the window to see what the weather outside feels like. I then cross the hall and take a few more steps and I am back at my room. I began walking 1-2x a day and worked my way up to doing the entire loop. The first few days were the hardest, as I was unsteady and the exertion of the simple walk would cause me to sweat profusely. By the Friday before delivery, I was walking 3-4 laps a day, trying to get stronger for my boys. I would try to walk after breakfast, before lunch, around 4pm and sometime in the evening between 7:30-8. Walking was very painful, with my muscles atrophying and the weight of my pregnancy and I would sometimes alternate walking and crying. When Elliot was there, he would hold my hand we would walk. I preferred to walk with Elliot, but refused to let myself NOT walk because he wasn't able to be there. I told myself every painful step helped get me stronger and be more on the road to recovery for my boys.

Twin pregnancy in all it's glory??? I look awful, but included it because you can see the massive size of my tummy. 

Same pose, slightly different angle

Glad someone is enjoying this stage of my pregnancy...

One more week!

All I could think this week, is NEXT Christmas will be sooo much better and wonderful, just hang in there Amy.

My mini Christmas tree. 

36 weeks

I don't have any notes from this time period either, I just mainly recall counting down the days until January 5th, knowing one way or another the boys will be here by then. It is a mixture of excitement and fear. I do recall on New Year's Eve wishing that I would go into labor and my boys would get to be the New Year's Day babies, but it was not meant to be.  After the holiday, Elliot went back to school for a couple days because we knew he would take off at least a week once the boys were here. We also did not want to use any more of his "sick" days than we needed to, knowing that we wanted me to still be able to draw a full paycheck while on maternity leave. Although I had some sick leave saved up, it was quickly used up during my disability period and we had transferred some of Elliot's sick leave to me already.

The month of December I was in pretty much constant pain from the weight of my pregnancy. I had almost 13 pounds of baby plus all the other pregnancy fluid, placenta and other "stuff."  It hurt to shift in bed and walking was very slow and painful from all the weight. There was a constant pressure/pain in my pelvic area and if I moved too fast, it would become shooting pain. I was allowed to take pain medication, but I am funny in that I do not like to take lots of medicine. For example, if you see me taking some sort of pain reliever, I've had that headache for several hours. I only take medicine when I've hit my maximum pain threshold, which is pretty high. So I kept a constant supply of those popping instant ice packs to put in my underwear. Felt so wonderful and worked better than the pain medication.

Ahhh the home stretch!

Different angles to show the immense stomach that is my boys and perhaps a few vital organs

Motivation board is counting down the days!

The reason I endure bedrest

31 week update

Momma and the twins have reached 31 weeks!

31 weeks side view; when I look at these pics I have a hard time recalling what I looked like pre-pregnancy.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

I learned a bit to work the hospital food system. Dessert comes with lunch and dinner and I actually like about half of the desserts they serve. But like the rest of the menu, I’ve become tired of the same desserts every week. I’ve started asking for other desserts and have discovered that the cafeteria has pretty good brownies. Usually the food service person will ask what I would like when I make a face about the dessert offering and I usually reply, “Something chocolate”. So I’ve had all the various types of brownies they make and some kind of chocolate and peanut butter cake that is not that bad. I’ve learned I just need to ask about a different food option to see if they can find something I like. About once a week the cafeteria dietitian comes by to see how the food and service is going since I am a long term patient. I haven’t mentioned anything so far, but I think I will bring up the blandness of the food. They really need some ethnic food on the menu too.

I continue to have trouble sleeping at night. It really started around 30 weeks and I at first thought it was my imagination. I realize now with the huge size of my stomach it is hard to find a comfortable side sleeping position. I am trying to stay hydrated too so I get up 3-5 times a night between 11-7:15am to pee. I guess this is preparing me for when the boys arrive and need to be fed, changed, etc.  After returning to bed, it then takes me another 10 minutes to get slightly comfortable to be able to sleep. The boys moving around in my stomach also can keep me awake.  

I’ve also had some tingly pain behind my knees, especially noticeable not long after waking up. The nurses have been afraid that my blood is pooling in my legs, although my legs have not become swollen. To combat this, I have been given special compression stockings to wear. Since I can move and rotate my legs during the day, I mostly wear the stockings at night. The stockings are a bit hot because they are SO tight. They are also hard to get on and off, trying to maneuver around my large stomach, so I’ve been getting Elliot or a nurse to help me. Another instance of me having to depend on someone else to do a simple activity for me. GRRRRR.

Tonight I also watched Home Alone on TV. It is now the official start of showing Christmas movies although it is not even December. I do not consider Home Alone really a Christmas movie, but I guess the setting is Christmas time. I enjoyed that movie as an elementary age kid and recall my Uncle John always got a kick out of it too. It is hard to find funny, family friendly movies nowadays and Home Alone is defiantly one of those in today’s times.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The morning began with a TWO HOUR non stress test monitoring of the boys. It was pure torture. The nurse put me on the monitors and the boys acted up immediately and would not stay put long enough. Elliot happened to call to get my breakfast order and when Elliot arrived with my biscuit, I was approaching the one hour mark. The nurse said “Eat your biscuit and I’ll come back to try again”. I had about a 20 minute break and then back on the monitors I went. Part of the trouble this time was Jacob kept kicking the monitor off! This is the first time/day that he has ever done that. I don’t know if he was finally strong enough or finally got tired of being monitored, but he did not want it on. I was beginning to think only Jonathan was feisty! It was during this second time on the monitors that both boys settled down enough they could get a 20 minute segment. I was about to go nuts.

Later that evening, I started have several contractions within one hour, much like the previous Sunday. So I lay on my side and drank water like a fish, slowly started to feel better and have the contractions slow down and then peed every 20 minutes for two hours. Again, much like the previous Sunday. The things I do for these boys! Sunday is also dip and weigh night; I have gained another 4 pounds. I can tell I am steadily getting bigger, but I am not sure how I am gaining that much weight. I know a good part of my weight gain is because I can't move around and work it off, but I guess my eating habits have changed more than I first thought??

Monday, November 26, 2012

Today was kinda rough because it marked my confinement of being here one MONTH!  A major emotional roller coaster for me. Sadly, I have barely left the room and have not been outside at all in a month. I have not been home in a month. I have not been to church in a month. I have not cuddled and kissed my cats in a month. I have not worked in a month. I have not cooked a meal in my home in a month. I have not been to a store or gone out to eat in a month. I have not done laundry, taken out the trash, cleaned the bathroom, gathered the mail, paid bills or done any other chores in a month. I have not been a normal person in a month. I keep wondering how long it will be before I can start to feel normal again. My life is stuck in neutral and I can’t go forward at all.

Maybe my above mentioned feelings were compounded by the fact I started looking at my insurance. I had been avoiding it due to the stress of thinking about how much is me just laying here costing us every day and how much of that cost will we have to pay.  The hospital has several case workers that help people with insurance, being someone to talk to and other issues patients may have. Before becoming pregnant, Elliot and I signed me up for disability insurance. Basically, after the HUGE pile of paperwork is submitted, we should get two checks, one for my being on bed rest and the other for being disabled for delivery. When we signed up, the insurance guy said the insurance people referred to disability insurance for younger women as baby insurance. Since I have been on bed rest so long, we and the case worker checked in on how and when I would need to apply for my disability insurance. Basically, no paperwork can be done or submitted until I am released from the hospital. Boo. A huge hassle to deal with combined with recovering from surgery and bed rest and learning to parent twins. I also looked at my regular insurance and saw that the last submitted bills for me were from my doctor appointment on 10/26, so I guess the hospital is also waiting to submit bills on me until they release me. I was hoping to see at least a few days submitted so I could estimate how much this will all be. Of course I am a cheaper patient than two babies in the NICU, but the cost of all of this is alarming. Now that I’ve been here longer and every day the boys are less in danger, I can’t decide if it would be better for me mentally and physically and monetarily to deliver now and have them in the NICU a few days or to keep ‘em cookin’ and me on bed rest and less possible days in the NICU.

A bright spot in my day was a visit from Jan. She was very happy and brought me some Christmas antlers to wear. I wore them for a bit.  I admire how she can be happy with all the craziness going on with Mama right now. I pray it will be resolved soon and the doctors figured out how to make Mama comfortable and happy.

Another bright spot was receiving flowers from my Aunt Julie and Uncle Peter. It was a pretty arrangement with daises, yellow roses and some sort of blueish flower I can’t identify.  Since all the flowers people had brought or sent me have died, it was nice to have something fresh and alive again in my room.

Pretty floral arrangement with a picture frame on front. You insert a small picture where the "sweet dreams!" phrase is located. It's attached to a cup like structure to hold the flowers.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Today was a pretty quiet day. I had a long visit from Dr. Wright and the OBGYN nurse Burris about how far I have come. They cannot believe I have made it this far-me either. I think they check in now mainly to assess my mental health, which most days is pretty good, considering my circumstances.

In the morning, Clara stopped by to chat and bring a gift for the boys. Clara works here in the administrative part of the hospital. She brought two matching outfits from Gymboree with the cutest raccoon design on them. Unfortunately, I forgot to get a picture of them. I now have a good mix of matching and non-matching clothes for the twins. Yes, I plan to dress them alike sometimes-they are twins after all. But I also realize they are individuals and depending on how much they look alike I may need to dress them differently to tell the difference.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Borrowed from:http: //performingsongwriter.com/charlie-brown-christmas/

Nothin' starts the Christmas season for me like a Charlie Brown Christmas on TV...in November. 

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday turned out to be a pretty busy day. While waiting to be put on the monitors I worked some on school stuff. I am desperately trying to get done with my lesson plans just in case the boys come. I like to leave things in a completed sense, but that is not working well in my current condition. I am still bitter about leaving my library in a disheveled stated and not being able to meet/interview my sub. Sigh. I do need to get over it.

Once they put me on the monitors, the boys did an excellent job of accelerating their heartbeats. They do not technically have to do this until 32 weeks, but it’s good they are getting in the habit of it now. Grow babies grow!!

I also had several visitors. Joan and Angel visited me again. Joan brought me some fresh blueberries and strawberries to munch on. I do appreciate how much they have visited me. It’s hard some days know that the world carries on without you and you are totally out of the loop. Mrs. Miller, my school’s PTO president, brought her son and another PTO mom, Mrs. Johnson, and her daughter to visit me. It was such a blessing to see the kids again; I do miss being around kids all day and teaching them. We had a nice long visit and they also brought some small gifts to cheer me up. I certainly do not expect gifts, but it is nice to know people are thinking about you. It was not until the end of our visit that Mrs. Miller mentioned that she had to be on home bed rest for 3 weeks at the end of her pregnancy. I’ve now met someone who has survived bed rest and knows how hard it can be. Makes me appreciate her visits all the more.

A Christmas fern from the Johnsons and a Willow Tree Angel of Prayer from the Millers. I will see if I can turn the snowman figure into a Christmas ornament for next year and keep the Willow Tree figure to remind me of the many wonderful people around the country that have been praying for me and the boys. 

Thursday, November 29, 2012

One of the best things to happen today was that because I am so close to 32 weeks and have continued to be stable since I first checked in, the doctors agreed to allow me to have day room privileges and short wheelchair rides, but only on the 4^th floor in case I have an emergency. I was shown the day room; it’s quite small and cluttered with furniture. There is a large sink area, a very large couch and two gaudy pink recliners. There is also a magazine rack on the wall and a window with a view of the mountains. I had a short wheelchair ride just to get out. It was dark by the time Elliot arrived, but I was desperate to see the hallway and just something different so I took a ride anyway. I looked out the huge window that overlooks Hendersonville road and leads to I-40. All I could see was long lines of headlights and lights from various businesses in the dark, but it was so nice to see something other than my 3 walls and the window with the view of a brick wall. I cannot wait for the day I can go outside again.

Today I finished up and emailed my lesson plans to my interim sub. This should give her 3 weeks worth and get her prepared and ready for the month of December. Besides giving her the formal lesson plans, I also write detailed notes and try to be as clear as possible. Sometimes I think I may be going a bit over board. I also emailed Ginny, my principal, about my health status and to ask her about January and February lesson plans. I am not trying to be reclusive or distant about telling my co workers about my and the boys progress, but there is not much to report except I am still pregnant, we have no idea when I will deliver and I am trying not to lose my mind. Ginny wrote back and said I could write the lesson plans for my sub if I wanted to, but it would not be expected. I think I may let the sub create the lesson plans for January and February. Partly because I will be extremely busy once the babies are here and the plans I would like to do, I cannot do. In January, I like to read the 12 NC Children’s Picture Book Award nominees and then have the children vote. It’s a great lesson plan that all grades can do and participate, makes for easy lesson planning and exposes the students to current children’s literature. Because I have been laid up here, the book orders I had hoped to place in November once we had the fundraising and PTO contributions in have not been ordered, thus I have not been able to purchase the 12 nominees. It bothers me that the kids will not know some of the latest literature, but what can I do?

Our good friends from our WCU days, Melanie and Cody, came to visit in the evening. They have an adorable daughter, Madelyn, who has just turned one and Melanie is expecting again! Cody has a doctor’s conference at the Grove Park Inn and for the past few years we have had them stay with us at our home while Cody attends the conference and Mel and I spend some good girl time together. On the Saturday of the conference, we also invite our other good WCU friends, Pam and Mike and we enjoy a good visit, Elliot and I make dinner and often end the night playing games. Originally, Elliot and I were not going to be in town because of Megan’s wedding on Saturday, but that of course is no longer happening. It was so wonderful to see them again and see little Maddie. It was amusing to watch Elliot watch and interact with Maddie. Maddie knew that there was a certain food item in her diaper bag that she wanted and she was determined to get it. Mel and Cody kept trying to distract her with other items from the bag and sometimes it worked, but eventually Maddie would remember that her special food item was still in the bag. Elliot was just fascinated that A) you can distract the baby easily and B) Maddie still recalled, repeatedly, that her food item was in the diaper bag. I’m no expert either, but Elliot has a lot to learn about babies and toddlers. Besides a fun visit, they gifted us a beautiful poinsettia to dress up the room and a gigantic bag of wipes and a large bottle of Dreft detergent. It was so much stuff that the bag’s handles ripped and Elliot had to use both arms to carry when he left. Oh baby!

 Beautiful poinsettia gets me in the Christmas spirit.

 Friday, November 30, 2012

Today started off slow and I was not happy about that. Because the MFMU is quite full right now and I am further along than some patients and relatively stable, I get put at the end of the list when it comes to having the nurse come in and do their daily checklist on me. It really stinks on shower and bed linen change day. I look forward to my every other day showers since some days I feel like I can smell myself and the shower lets me feel normal for a few minutes. I hesitate to get involved in working on this blog, reading or other projects because I will be interrupted at any moment for 20+ minutes. Maybe if I did start one of those activities it would work to actually get them in the room to see me.

They barely left the room when the pet therapy dog arrived. This one was a Dalmatian; I was so excited because I have never petted a Dalmatian. Brodie was a very friendly dog and hopped right up on the bed with me! I really do enjoy the pet therapy visits.

Not long after the Dalmatian left, Jan and Angel came by to visit. Jan discussed her upcoming right shoulder surgery. At first, we thought she had only pulled a muscle and the area was just very sore. But after continued pain, she had an x-ray which showed the muscles and ligaments in her shoulder were straining and coming apart. When her doctor explained that she would need surgery in January to repair it, she couldn’t drive for 10 days after and then 4-6 weeks of recovery and therapy. When she heard that news, she apparently had a crying breakdown. Jan explained to the doctor about me on hospitalized bed rest with twins coming and that her mother was sick and in and out of the hospital over an hour away. The doctor took great pity on her and scheduled her for surgery on 12/7, over some athletes who have been waiting over a month to have their surgery done. I am grateful to the doctor because although Elliot plans to take some time off once the twins are born, he will have to go back to work and I will still be in the process of regaining my strength from bed rest and a C-section. Jan is now relieved and praying the boys come after she is allowed to drive again on December 17th and once she has some of her recovery period done. Quite frankly, I don’t know if I will be able to hold on that long. I want the boys to have more time to cook, but I was hoping to be home for Christmas. Guess we’ll see what happens.

Off and on all day I had been calling either Mom or Megan to find out when the rehearsal for the wedding would be going on. Elliot had brought me our laptop with Skype downloaded on it and we were going to try it out in preparation of Saturday being the big wedding day. When Susan, one of the bridesmaids, called to tell us to boot up the computer and try to connect, I was so nervous, but excited. The Skype worked beautifully and Susan yelled to Megan that it had connected. Megan knelt down in front of the computer screen and we both started to cry. I was so relieved that Skype was working because Megan had been told the church’s wireless connection was not that strong. I was able to watch the whole rehearsal practiced twice and chatted with mom and dad a bit too. The connection kicked us off a couple times, but Susan and Mileva, the other bridesmaid, were right there to reconnect.  I just hope it works as well or better for the wedding.

I went to bed praying to God for it to stop pouring on our family. I know life has its ups and downs and when I was first admitted to the hospital it felt like it was starting to "rain" on us. The rain was tolerable, but increased steadily when Mama started having issues and then turned to a downpour gully washer with Jan’s upcoming surgery and me having to miss my sister’s wedding. Each of those incidents by themselves is tough to handle, but having to cope with all that feels like you are in a monsoon and can’t see your hand in front of you. All I can pray anymore is for guidance and for the downpour to stop.

30 weeks = more weeks cookin' the little turkeys

Bam! Side view of me and the twins!

30 weeks!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

I did not see Elliot until early afternoon today because he was running around getting issues with the car resolved. My Dad mentioned that he noticed that one of the back taillights had gone out on my car. Elliot drives his car to and from work, but has been driving my car on the weekends so it won’t be sitting for weeks on end.  Elliot was able to get a new bulb replaced at the Toyota place fairly quickly and cheaply. After that he went to the local fire station and had the car seats and the bases installed in my car.  I know this is a bit early, especially if they are in the NICU for awhile, but it makes me feel like we are getting ready for the boys arrival and the seats will be ready when the boys are ready to come home. It also got a few things out of the garage! I had Elliot take a couple pics of the seats in the car so I could see how it looked. The seats do take up most of the backseat and with the double stroller in the trunk, there is not much room for anything else.

With Elliot attending to errands, I spent Saturday working on lesson plans for Thanksgiving week and the last week of November for my sub. I have a rough outline of what lessons I want done in December too, but am not sure what to do come January.  Also, because I was not able to meet with my sub in person before going on maternity leave, I have to leave pretty detailed notes and instructions about how the library is run for the sub. I have to lessen my control and realize my library will not blow up while I am gone, but I don’t want it totally messed up and have to spend the first few weeks finding and organizing things when I return.

Elliot was going to meet his mom at the fire station to get our other set of care seat bases installed in her car, since she’ll be taking care of the boys after I return to work, but Jan had to Shelby to see about her mother, Mama. Apparently Glenda, Jan’s sister in law, tried calling Mama several times and she did not answer the phone. Glenda went to Mama’s house to check in on her and could see through the locked screen door that Mama was lying on the floor. She then called Larry, Jan’s brother, to bring the key to unlock the screen door and Glenda called 911. Thankfully, Mama was alive and conscious, but they had her taken to the hospital to be checked over. They are still observing and treating her now. With me in the hospital and Mama in the hospital, I hope Jan can cope with everything.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Sunday afternoon brought a visit from Drew and Ellen, a couple about our age who just moved to the area this summer and started worshiping at East Chestnut. I think they are a very sweet couple. Ellen is also a teacher! They brought a magazine and a big bag of peanut M&Ms for me to enjoy. It was so nice to have a new face to chat with and visit!

Sunday night, right before Elliot was going to leave, turned a bit dramatic. One of the signs I could be going into labor was if I had 4-6 contractions in an hour.  If this happens, I am to notify the nurses immediately. I have been having occasional contractions and when I have had a contraction, I make sure to note the time. Since this involves a bit of math, Elliot enjoys noting the time on my whiteboard. So I started having 4 contractions in about 40 minutes so I buzzed the nurse. The CNA told me to lay on my side and drink, drink, drink my water and she would let my nurse know what was going on. About 10 minutes later, the nurse comes in to check on me. She tells me she will check on me in another 10 minutes, which would make the full hour, to see if I have anymore contractions. I have 2 more contractions, making a full 6 contractions in an hour. I am feeling a bit scared, thinking this is it! AHHHH! Since I had reached the 6 contractions, they decide to put me on the monitors and do a 20 minute non stress test on the babies and my uterus.  I had only 1 contraction during the 20 minutes so it looks like I was just dehydrated and needed water to keep me from having an irritable uterus that wants to contract.  I was so thankful that I was not going into labor, but I spend the next 2 hours peeing literally every 20 minutes.

Sunday evenings are also what the nurses call weigh and dip nights for anyone on the Maternal Fetal Medicine Unit. Meaning they have us get on this huge portable scale to note our weight and each patient had to provide a urine sample to be dipped to check for proteins in the urine.  My urine was a bit diluted from all the water, but turned out ok.  I had also gained 5 pounds in one week! I was a bit worried that this was quite a bit for one week, but since we need the boys to gain weight, the doctors are not too worried. Until this point I had only gained 10 pounds my whole pregnancy so 5 pounds in one week sounds like a lot. The doctors say that this sometimes happens when women are put on bed rest since you are not up walking around or exercising it off. I do feel the weight now when I slowly walk to the bathroom. My stomach with 8+ pounds of baby feels so heavy at times. The bed rest, muscle atrophy and baby weight make it very hard to get around sometimes. I don’t consider myself a lazy person, but having to sit around on bed rest and moving soooo slowly certainly makes me feel that way.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Today was an up and down day for the family. Mama is still not doing well, which means poor Jan is driving down to Shelby almost daily. She spends the night sometimes and then returns to Asheville in the early afternoon. Unfortunately, Mama has not been a “good” patient and is not sleeping well, requesting food, medicine, and to be turned over, etc. every 15-20 minutes so Jan gets no sleep either. The doctor’s think she may have Sundowner’s Syndrome, which is the first sign of dementia. I hope and pray that Jan and her brothers and the rest of the family can hold it together.

I had a visit from the holistic nurse today. We did the guided imagery and a massage. I was really looking forward to it with the stress of Mama and knowing I would be yet again in the hospital for another holiday.

Perhaps because of my quick weight gain or the fact that the babies now weigh what a full term baby would weigh, I have been having some round ligament pain. It is very painful to shift in the bed or get in and out of the bed to use the bathroom. I knew pregnancy, especially with twins, would not be super comfortable, but I wonder if the pain is exacerbated by my bed rest situation.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Today was a day of special gifts. Jan stopped by to visit me with a small balloon shaped like a turkey; it’s pretty cute! She also brought a gift from Glenda and Bill (her brother) for Elliot and me. It was the willow tree figurines of twins. I had previously seen them in a Hallmark store but hesitated in buying them because the only twin design is of two boys around toddler size and at the time I did not know I would be having two boys.  I like the Willow tree designs for their simplicity, but rarely buy any since I am trying to stay clutter free. But I did keep the Willow tree figure that was our wedding cake topper and this one since it is of twin boys.

Elliot arrived tonight in good spirits since it is the start of his Thanksgiving break. He ran home after school to feed the cats and bring what he needed to spend the night with me. He came bearing a beautiful gift from a couple we both have taught with at various points in our career. Elliot currently teaches with Jim and I taught with Cheryl two years ago when I was at Fairview. They are both wonderful educators and love children. Cheryl made to large size blankets that are just gorgeous and most people know I adore anything handmade for me. I love how it has “manly” polka dots and the same ABC pattern (reminds me of books/reading!) but with alternate green and blue backgrounds. It might just be one of my favorite gifts that I have received for the boys. 

Wow! The blankets are a wonderful size and beautiful.

Happy Daddy with Jonathan and Jacob's blankets.

What a cute design for the body of the blankets.

Twin boy figures; what a thoughtful gift.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Since I have now been here 26 days the doctors had the physical therapist create a plan to help with my atrophying muscles. My exercises are pretty simple. When I go to the bathroom, I am to hold the sink and rise up and down on my toes. In bed, I can tighten and hold for 10 seconds my thigh muscles. I also have two types of resistance bands tied to my bed. I have three different exercises that I am supposed to do with the bands. The red and yellow bands attached to my bed make me feel like I am riding on a lame parade float. The exercises are not hard, but I do not really enjoy them since I find them so boring. I keep reminding myself that they need to be done for my boys. I have a hard time picking up my heavy lunch tray sometimes, so how am I going to pick up two babies? I am very worried about my recovery process since I will have to have a C-section and weaken muscles from bed rest and two babies to look after.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!

I spent Thanksgiving morning getting ready for Elliot’s arrival and our meal. I also watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. I always enjoy watching it, mostly for the Broadway musical numbers. Perhaps one day Elliot, the boys and I can see the parade in person; that would be a wonderful Thanksgiving memory and you can bet I would tell Jonathan and Jacob about the Thanksgiving before they were born.

For Thanksgiving Elliot's Granny made the traditional meal and Elliot went over and socialized with the relatives for a bit. When the food was ready, he and Granny packed up some of the meal and brought it to the hospital for E and me to celebrate here. Since I have been wearing hospital gowns for almost a month now, I had Elliot purchase me some new PJs. He did pretty well on the sizing, it's hard to estimate what I would really wear since I haven't worn normal clothes in awhile, and I was glad to wear something different. I did my makeup and put on my new PJs and celebrated Thanksgiving! I am thankful to know that our 2013 Thanksgiving will be totally different than the 2012.

Because I was bored and needed something to keep my mind occupied during the evening hours, I joined Pinterest. I’ve pinned several crafts and yummy goodies I would like to try once I am up and out of here. Also pinned some ideas for clothing and entertaining the boys and some neat ideas for lesson plans. I thought I should know and use the latest social media-haha.

Lounging in bed in my new PJs.

Front view of Momma, Jacob and Jonathan.

My little turkeys are still baking in their oven!

Friday, November 23, 2012

Perhaps because it was the day after Thanksgiving or the fact all I keep hearing about is black Friday and I cannot participate, I felt pretty sad and depressed today. I spent most of the day sleeping and reading until Elliot arrived with dinner.  The nurses come and check on my periodically and I’ve gotten pretty good at faking sleeping; the key is to hang your mouth open a bit and breathe loudly. I fake sleeping sometimes so that so I don’t have to talk to them. I am not a good patient; I don’t like being waited on or being a bother. Sometimes I want to scream, “No, I don’t need anything, I’ll buzz you if I do. Just leave me alone”.  It also depends on who the nurse is. I have not had a bad or uncaring nurse, but like any people you meet, you just connect or like some more than others.

Since it is Elliot’s Thanksgiving break, I wanted him to have most of the day to do what he wanted and relax a bit. He was able to go to see the latest James Bond movie with his Dad, a movie he has been dying to see. Yes, I was jealous that I could not go to the movies, not that I really wanted to see that particular movie, but my hospitalization has not been easy on either of us. This is especially true when people make insensitive remarks to Elliot about my pregnancy or me being here. He has only mentioned one incident, but I can tell from his words and actions he has kept some things from me so I don’t worry. This has been a major test of our marriage. I am SO tired of being separated from my husband.

29 weeks roller coaster ride

Two more weeks pregnant, two weeks closer to healthy babies!

Momma, Jonathan and Jacob at 29 weeks

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Saturday was a great day because Mom, Dad, Megan and Fred were all able to travel and come down and see us at the hospital. Everyone arrived a bit after 10 am and Megan and Fred gave me a bag of bed rest goodies to keep me occupied and we all visited for a bit. They left for awhile to grab a quick lunch and then go back to Elliot and I’s house. 

While the men watched football, Megan and Mom spent the afternoon sorting thru the various bags of baby items I had bought or been given. They took tags off, washed what items they could and sorted thru and organized the various baby items. All that was in the nursery was the furniture, no clothes, decorations, diapers, anything.  I was planning on sorting thru and putting away the baby items the weekend I hospitalized. I was really looking forward to setting up the nursery for the boys, but I know and appreciate their hard work to get it started. At least when the boys come home they will have some clean clothes and crib sheets and the other baby items have been sorted.  I will just have to decorate and finish getting it just right once they are here. AHHHH!

When my family returned later that early evening, they came bearing gifts that I would have received at my baby shower.  Elliot and I enjoyed getting some wonderful clothes, toys and bedding for the boys. We also enjoyed and polished off the fruit basket from Friday.

I included this picture because I thought the wrapping paper was cute and boyish.

Fill the pelican's mouth and rinse off the baby at bathtime!

Mom, Amy and Megan

Onesies and bath towels for Jacob and Jonathan.Notice the "manly" polka dots on the clothes and towels. It is hard to find polka dots, my favorite, that are not girly.

My parents also bought a couple outfits when the boys are older!

Another outfit for when the twins are older; this one has Snoopy, my Dad's favorite!

Megan and me!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Sunday the family stopped by for a quick visit before they headed home. I appreciated Megan and Fred visiting with less than a month to go before their wedding. DC to Asheville is not a quick trip and I know they must have had a lot of wedding details to wrap up this close to the wedding. It was also nice to see Mom and Dad again and have the whole family (plus Fred who will soon be officially family) all together during this difficult time.

Because Monday was Veteran’s Day, Elliot had the day off from school. It was nice that he was able to spend the night again with me. It’s not nice that I have to sleep on a hospital bed and him on the fold out couch a couple feet away, but at least I know he is there and I can see him.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Probably the best part of today was I got my IV out. I have had 5 IVs since being here; meaning most are lasting only 3 days instead of the normal 4-5 which means they have to keep finding stubborn veins in my dehydrated arms and hands. Not comfortable! The medical staff keeps telling me it’s good to have one inserted in case they need to administer some fluids or medicines quickly in an emergency situation.  I keep thinking you guys have emergency situations all the time and have to insert IVs quickly so that’s not a real reason. I asked the Dr. about having a few days break from an IV. She was hesitant, but took a look at my current IV and muttered something about the IV being too small and they would have to do a bigger one for a C-section, so she sighed and said ok. If she had said no, I was at the point of saying, “get the IV out or I will get it out!” I and my body have been cooperating for the most part, so I need a break. Also, it’s my body and I have a say in what is put in it and done to it.

Today during the fetal monitoring, the nurse noted that Jacob had started accelerating his heart when moving around, something that is not usually seen until the baby is older! Jonathan has not started doing this, but if one boy is, probably the other is not far behind! Grow babies grow!

Elliot brought me some pizza and breadsticks for dinner. While chowing down, Suzie, from school, and her husband visited with Elliot and me. Suzie has been great about visiting me or sending me a message to let me know I have not been forgotten. I hope I can one day repay the favor.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I had a new nurse today and she was getting acquainted with me and my prognosis. She asked the doctor how much longer I would be here and when I would possibly be going home. The doctor replied that I was not going home until delivery and “it is a miracle that she is still pregnant!” and they had expected me to go into labor the weekend I was admitted to the hospital. They do not know why I am still pregnant because physically my body is saying “let’s go”.  I was stunned to hear that; I didn’t think I was that bad.  At this point, I think God/prayers are the only thing holding in my babies. I continue to be thankful and amazed.

Being on bed rest also means I spend a lot of time watching TV. There have been some Thanksgiving commercials, but Christmas commercials have started popping up too on TV.  It makes me depressed thinking of what I am missing out on during this time of the year. I’ve missed Halloween and am getting ready to probably miss Thanksgiving, will I miss Christmas too? Logically, I know this will not be the end of the world, but when all you see on TV is happy, joyful people, it’s hard not to be jealous.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

 I was granted a visit to the NICU today. It’s a big deal because I have not been allowed to leave the room in a wheelchair or any other way either because it might put too much pressure on my cervix. GRRR! Not long after Elliot arrived they put me in a wheelchair and gave us directions to the NICU upstairs. It was a little shocking to finally be out of my “bubble” or room after so long. I’ve asked Elliot to describe the hallways and exits to me, but he gets frustrated when I don’t understand what exactly he is describing. I tried to absorb as much as I could of my “outside” world. Don’t know what I’ll do or feel when I actually see and be in the true outside world again.

Anyway, we received a guided tour of the NICU by a wonderful nurse who answered all our questions. She asked a couple who had their baby out of the incubator and were holding her if we could see her. The nurse explained I was on bed rest and would possibly be having babies in the NICU and they agreed to let us look. She was a tiny, beautiful thing with black curly hair. She was born at 27 weeks, but was 29 weeks when we saw her. It was wonderful to know that there are resources to help such tiny babies, but I had to fight tears when I saw just how little she was and that I could have 2 babies that were that size or smaller. Our boys will have to be in their own incubators to make sure they have proper monitoring, but in time there is the possibility that they can be together in the same one. Also, depending on many factors, at first we may be only able to gently touch them and later when they are more stable, hold them. I know it’s in their best interest and to protect their fragile bodies, but I cannot fathom going thru months of pregnancy, weeks of bed rest and not be able to hold Jacob or Jonathan once they are here. It seems too cruel. We had previously visited the NICU as part of our Marvelous Multiples pregnancy class, but I never envisioned that we might have to use it one day. But I guess no parent ever does.

We spent about 30 minutes on the tour and Elliot asked me if I wanted to take a longer route back to the room. I said no, the tour mentally and physically exhausted me. Once back near the maternal fetal medicine unit, he stopped in front of a huge window with a lovely view of the mountains. He asked if I wanted to just watch for awhile. I physically could not because my bottom had turned numb from sitting so long. It was my first real sign of my muscles atrophying. I just wanted to go back to the room, lie down and cry that I am losing so much muscle mass. I am scared I will not be able to properly care for Jonathan and Jacob because I am so weak.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Today I had several interesting visitors. First, was Jan’s brother Larry, who stopped in since he had an appointment at the VA. We do not know each other very well and he is quite a bit older than even Jan, but I appreciate his kindness in stopping to see me. We visited for about 30 minutes before they brought in my lunch at 11:30.

Later in the afternoon, a nurse introduced me to a woman named Ciji who spent over two months over this summer in the same room I am in. She also had a similar situation as me with an incompetent cervix and made to stay until delivery. With her visiting were her girl twins! They were just beautiful. We chatted for a bit about bed rest and being in the hospital for a long time and she was really encouraging to me. It was great to see physical proof that one day my bed rest will be completed and I will hold my beautiful twins.

Also that afternoon, Mrs. Miller, my school’s PTO president stopped in to check in on me and brought some small gifts. Mrs. Miller is an RN in another department at the hospital. I was so touched that she bothered to visit me. She is a shining example of why our PTO is so awesome and good to the teachers at my school.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Today was exciting because I got have another growth ultrasound of the boys. Since being hospitalized, I’ve been nervous that the ultrasound would show something wrong or not very good with the boys, mainly because that’s where my thoughts tend to go nowadays. Hoping there would be good news and good growth, but nervous they would find something that would make today D Day (delivery day). Blessedly, it was wonderful news.

Baby A, Jacob, is measuring in at 32 weeks, 4.4 pounds and is in the 90^th percentile! I about fell off the table when the tech told me those numbers. I could not believe he weighs that much, let alone was measuring 2 weeks ahead. I watched as she did some of the body measurements and already knew he was measuring ahead, but not that much.

Baby B, Jonathan, is measuring at 31 weeks, 3.12 pounds and is in the 70^th percentile. Still awesome statistics for a tomorrow-will –be-30-weeks baby.  Although the boys are now measuring differently, that’s ok because they are two separate people, each growing at their own rate. It would be concerning if one baby was in the 90^th percentile and the other in the 30^th because that would mean one baby was growing better and getting more nutrients than the other. It would also be concerning if the boys were in the 20^th percentile or less because they would be on the smaller side. Elliot and I have some big’uns!

My cervix has also changed a bit. The funneling opening at the top has changed from a wide U shape to a narrower V shape. This means that a cord or foot could still slip into the opening, but it is a smaller opening, which is great. Unfortunately, my cervix has dilated a bit more from one fingertip when I was first hospitalized to two finger widths. Definitely, not ideal, but my cervix dilating was inevitable at this stage. It will not close at this point, but the doctors were glad that the funnel opening is technically smaller now. If they are happy, so am I!

So overall, it was wonderful news that the ultrasound showed the boys are growing big and healthy. The doctors were also amazed that they are growing so well. I hope and pray this trend continues. Perhaps if I deliver early, at least they will have more body fat and be a bit healthier. I asked the doctor if their good growth was related to the steroid shots I had when I was first admitted. The doctor stated that the steroid shot was to kick start their lung development into high gear, but their good growth is all from baking longer.

I also enjoyed my brief wheelchair ride to the ultrasound room. I can count on one hand how many times I have left my hospital room since being assigned this room on October 28^th. Heck its only 3 fingers!

I had a couple of visitors today. Bryon and Angel, the church's new preacher and his wife, stopped by to see me.  I enjoy their visit as they are fun, sincere and easy to talk to about various subjects. Sandi G., another church friend, stopped by for a quick visit and to bring beautiful gifts. Sandi and her mother in law, Grace, have a side business making Christmas stockings in a wide variety of patterns. I had asked Sandi if I could see her sample book and have some made for the boys since they may be here before Christmas and I wanted to be ready. As you can see, they turned out beautifully! I will have to hang them up in the room if I am still here after Thanksgiving.

These are big stockings that stretch and you can get a lot in!

Up close to show the detail. I asked Sandi to use alternate red and green colors on the bear's clothing so the stockings would be a little different.

Elliot brought some yummy Mexican for dinner and we relaxed by watching a little TV before bed. I enjoy having a variety of food since most hospital food is bland, bland, bland.