As, I write this post, it is September nearly 9 months since these pictures were taken. I am trying to go back and update the past few months. December was a very difficult month for many reasons that you can read about and I think I became a bit depressed. Not being able to leave the room for 5 weeks and the fear if you strain yourself somehow your babies will fall out of your body and possibly die, keeps you under pressure.
32 weeks
Front view of Momma and the boys at 32 weeks.
Momma's growing the boys well!
On Saturday, December 1st my beautiful sister Megan married a wonderful man named Fred. The night before we were able to successfully Skype during the rehearsal at the church. So Megan's wonderful friends skyped me in before the ceremony and I got to see Megan getting ready, mom and dad and all the other relatives. Megan was a beautiful bride. Megan showed me her dress and bouquet. Darling Megan attached a charm with my picture on it so I could walk down the aisle with her. When she showed me that I lost it for a bit. A lovely, thoughtful gesture, but a painful reminder that I was not there. I did try to participate a bit by wearing the snowflake jewelry the bridesmaids were to wear during the wedding that she had brought me when visiting me at the hospital. I am deeply touched that she included me. We chatted a bit and then Susan one of the bridesmaids carried the laptop thru the hallways to a special table setup at the front of the church so I and Elliot could view the ceremony. Another of Megan's friends, Amanda, took over the laptop duties explaining what was going on, moving the laptop around so we could see the church and explaining to people why there was a laptop attending the wedding. Amanda turned the sound feature off so any noises I made would not echo thru the church. Through the miracle of technology I able to watch my sister walk down the aisle and attend her wedding. Truly, one of the worst days of being on bed rest was missing my baby sister's special day.
After attending the wedding, Elliot and I rested a bit before our friends came to visit. Elliot and I have some very good friends from college, Pam and Mike and Melanie and Cody, that we enjoy getting together with, even though we are spread across North Carolina. Cody is finishing up his medical residency this year and always attend a big medical conference here in Asheville. Usually, Melanie and Cody stay a couple days with us and Pam and Mike drive over and we all have an afternoon and evening of food, fun and games. This year we celebrated in the hospital. It was wonderful to get together and have a semblance of normalcy.
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| 3 Mommas to be! There are 4 children in this picture :) Melanie is 16 weeks, Pam is 20 weeks and I am 32. |
3 Daddies to be! There are NO children in this picture, but it looks like there could be ;)
3 Mommas and 6 kids in this picture..some are just really good a hiding, though my breech baby Jacob wants to come out and play! Melanie, Madelyn, and baby Wingler to be, Riley, Pam and baby Gunter to be, Amy and babies Lunsford to be!
Elliot finally had that shovel for all those holes he gets himself into...
Those good feelings evaporated Sunday afternoon when they brought my dinner in at 4:30. I had a breakdown over my dinner knowing that once again I would be eating the same food, from the same menu, that I had been enduring the past 6 weeks. I sobbed so hard I made myself sick and couldn't choke down my food to eat it. Elliot ended up going and getting me some take out for dinner, but I was in a mental mess of thinking about all the events, people and things I was missing out on. Being Sunday, I knew I would also be alone that night as Elliot needed to sleep at home to be ready for another week at school.
The week did not get much better. On Tuesday, December 4, Elliot's Mama passed away. I know these past few months have been especially hard for Jan with caring for her mother and trying to keep me in good spirits. The funeral was held on Thursday and Elliot served as one of the pallbearers. Elliot drove in his own car, just in case I would call and say I was in labor. I do feel a bit sad that she will not meet the boys here on Earth, but I do know that she was excited that there would be another set of twins in her family.
The highlight of the week was my Friday ultrasound. The boys are growing beautifully. Baby A, Jacob, is measuring at 34 weeks growth and 4 lbs. 14 oz. Baby B, Jonathan, is keeping pace at also 34 weeks and 4 lbs. 11 oz. Even though Elliot was not able to be there for the ultrasound, due to him still at school and when they can fit my ultrasound into the schedule, the nurses do a good job of encouraging me. They all gather around and want to see ultrasound pictures and hear the boys stats. It's nice to know they care.
Momma in, literally, her home away from home-a hospital bed.
Thirty three weeks prove to be much better. On Saturday, December 8, the doctors determined that I was stable enough to ride in the wheelchair for 30 minute periods around the hospital. Due to Jacob's continued breech presentation, as shown in Friday's ultrasound, it is not advised that I go home. Not what I wanted to hear, but I do not want to be at home and have an emergency and risk the boys and I's lives, so I stay put. Elliot takes me for a quick spin around the 4th floor, but I do not last long-my bottom goes numb from sitting like that! I try to be thankful that I am slowly gaining some freedom back.
That Saturday I try to cheer myself and begin working on Christmas cards. I've always enjoyed sending Christmas cards and figure this activity will keep my occupied for a bit. On Tuesday, Elliot takes me outside in the wheelchair. I am on the 4th floor and Elliot has to get me to the ground floor to get outside to a little alcove. The elevator ride was smooth, but the unexpected, quick ride made me nauseous. We only stayed outside for about 10 minutes as it was a bit cold and rainy. I had not been outside in 1 1/2 months, so it was definitely strange. The elevator ride back up was not as bad, but I was still surprised that the initial ride made me sick.
On Thursday, the doctors give me a delivery date of January 5. The senior high risk maternal fetal medicine doctor at the hospital and my doctors meet and pick that date since I will be officially at 37 weeks (excellent for twin growth) and my primary care OBGYN will be on call and able to do my C section. Elliot and I had been pushing for a date since these weeks have been incredibly hard and stressful for us and our families. Dr Wright fully expects that the boys will be here before then and has told me on more than one occasion that the Drs. do not know why I am still pregnant, there is nothing there (meaning I have no cervix left to hold back these boys) and it's a miracle I'm still pregnant. I have also reminded him that there are many people around town and the country praying for me, these boys and our family. Knowing people care and are praying for me is what is keeping me sane, somehow.
Friday, I'm watching TV and learn of the shooting at the elementary school in Sandyhook, Connecticut. In my entire time on bedrest, it is the only time I am glad I am not at school. Not for a selfish fear of my life; if I must, I will die protecting my students. Not because of any fear that such a thing could happen at my school, but having to answer questions from the kids. How do you explain to kids that some people are deeply sick and hurt others for no reason, but they are safe at our little school, knowing that that is really not an adequate answer. Knowing that our country has some twisted, backward logic and lobbyists that believe gun control is a bad thing. I come from a hunting family, but it sickens me how easily anyone can obtain assault weapons. How many innocent children must die or be left with scars of terror watching your classmates die? What number must we reach? Ok, off my soapbox...
Smiling because I can finally go outside in a wheelchair!
Front view of Momma and the boys!
Elliot mentioned to his students about all the equipment baby's require and that we did not have hats. One of his students, Megan M., went home and knitted these for us. High schoolers can be so thoughtful!
34 weeks
As another week passes, Elliot and I decide he better get some errands done before the boys impending arrival. Elliot spend Saturday running errands, get the oil changed in my car and getting a pertussis and flu shot. Elliot does not like shots (ok, wimp, who does?) but I tell him I did not sit in the hospital all these weeks for you to bring home some germ and give it to the boys. Besides if you have some reaction to the flu shot, you can fight it off over winter break and before January 5th. HA Ha.
Monday brings homemade Christmas cookies from the nurse practitioner, also named Amy, at my OBGYN. She makes rounds at the hospital too, and I enjoy her upbeat manner. She had said she would be making cookies that weekend and would bring me some. I kinda blew it off, thinking she would forget. She didn't! The homemade cookies were a sad reminder of another Christmas tradition that I was missing, but it was nice to still be able to enjoy a decorated sugar cookie. It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. It was also a reminder to me that when I get out of here, that I will overcome my personal uneasiness of hospitals and go visit and cheer those stuck in the hospital.
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| Getting bigger every day |
Are we done yet?
On Wednesday, one of the doctors from my OBGYN practice and the nurse waltz into my room during my lunch and announce that I need some more lab work done. First, I was annoyed that I was in the middle of eating my lunch, evident by my tray of half eaten food, and would have to stop eating as not to be rude. Couldn't they come back after or visited before? Second, the nurse is my least favorite because I think she is a bit on the dramatic side and the doctor is my least favorite because his bedside manner makes me uncomfortable with its awkward long pauses. So they have been reviewing my chart and think my blood pressure has been too high several times and may be a sign of preeclampsia. So I will have my blood drawn and then have to provide daily urine samples-back to feeling like a lab rat again. They also brought up my bout of vomiting from over a week previous, (which I think was induced by brushing my teeth and hitting my gag reflex). So dramatic nurse sees all of this as signs of preeclampsia though I am not having any major signs of it. GRRRR!
As I figured, the lab showed that my blood work and urine sample were just fine and do not have any indications of preeclampsia. Unfortunately, I must continue to provide daily urine samples to make sure nothing is developing. I am beginning to think the doctors are getting bored and need to prove that they are taking care of my stable, boring, they can't believe I've made it to 34 weeks pregnant self. All of this hype over nothing reminds me of a few weeks ago when they thought I had a bladder infection. I showed none to limited signs of a bladder infection, but let's sample and test every iota of body fluids they can get.
Friday brings another visit from the therapy dog, Misha. Yay! Elliot is now out for winter break. Double yay!
Knowing Christmas would be arriving soon and maybe/maybe not my boys, and I would be stuck in this hospital, I stopped writing my daily notes in my notebook for my blog posts. I mainly recall from this week being depressed that I was still at the hospital and being insanely jealous of the women who got to home and be with their families. The floor had been full to capacity, plus three other rooms on the labor floor, but they try to clear as many people out as they can and send them home for the holidays. By the 24th, 25th and 26th, I think there was only me and 3 other critical patients left on the MFMU floor. The holidays also bring the "weird" nurses that either don't mind working the holiday or don't have any plans. I don't know how else to describe them other than weird due to their long finger nails, old fashioned hair dos, scrub tops that have strange patterns and have been washed so much they look almost faded and threadbare. They also don't seem to know how to use the equipment as well as the nurses I see most days. Just something slightly "off". The only doctor on call during this period is the same Dr., the Jewish one. Go figure...
The best part of this weeks is that I am allowed to walk the hall of the MFMU. I exit my room to the right and walk past the nurses station, several patient rooms and then loop back up at the locked door, which you must be buzzed in at to access the floor. I start back up the hall passing the ice machine, small patient refrigerator, several patient rooms and keep walking to the large windowed crosswalk between MFMU and labor and delivery. I stop here to rest and look at the view. I can see the 2 hospital helicopters that take off from the landing pad and highway 25 leading up into Biltmore. I touch the window to see what the weather outside feels like. I then cross the hall and take a few more steps and I am back at my room. I began walking 1-2x a day and worked my way up to doing the entire loop. The first few days were the hardest, as I was unsteady and the exertion of the simple walk would cause me to sweat profusely. By the Friday before delivery, I was walking 3-4 laps a day, trying to get stronger for my boys. I would try to walk after breakfast, before lunch, around 4pm and sometime in the evening between 7:30-8. Walking was very painful, with my muscles atrophying and the weight of my pregnancy and I would sometimes alternate walking and crying. When Elliot was there, he would hold my hand we would walk. I preferred to walk with Elliot, but refused to let myself NOT walk because he wasn't able to be there. I told myself every painful step helped get me stronger and be more on the road to recovery for my boys.
The best part of this weeks is that I am allowed to walk the hall of the MFMU. I exit my room to the right and walk past the nurses station, several patient rooms and then loop back up at the locked door, which you must be buzzed in at to access the floor. I start back up the hall passing the ice machine, small patient refrigerator, several patient rooms and keep walking to the large windowed crosswalk between MFMU and labor and delivery. I stop here to rest and look at the view. I can see the 2 hospital helicopters that take off from the landing pad and highway 25 leading up into Biltmore. I touch the window to see what the weather outside feels like. I then cross the hall and take a few more steps and I am back at my room. I began walking 1-2x a day and worked my way up to doing the entire loop. The first few days were the hardest, as I was unsteady and the exertion of the simple walk would cause me to sweat profusely. By the Friday before delivery, I was walking 3-4 laps a day, trying to get stronger for my boys. I would try to walk after breakfast, before lunch, around 4pm and sometime in the evening between 7:30-8. Walking was very painful, with my muscles atrophying and the weight of my pregnancy and I would sometimes alternate walking and crying. When Elliot was there, he would hold my hand we would walk. I preferred to walk with Elliot, but refused to let myself NOT walk because he wasn't able to be there. I told myself every painful step helped get me stronger and be more on the road to recovery for my boys.
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| Twin pregnancy in all it's glory??? I look awful, but included it because you can see the massive size of my tummy. |
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| Same pose, slightly different angle |
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| Glad someone is enjoying this stage of my pregnancy... |
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| One more week! |
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| All I could think this week, is NEXT Christmas will be sooo much better and wonderful, just hang in there Amy. |
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| My mini Christmas tree. |
36 weeks
I don't have any notes from this time period either, I just mainly recall counting down the days until January 5th, knowing one way or another the boys will be here by then. It is a mixture of excitement and fear. I do recall on New Year's Eve wishing that I would go into labor and my boys would get to be the New Year's Day babies, but it was not meant to be. After the holiday, Elliot went back to school for a couple days because we knew he would take off at least a week once the boys were here. We also did not want to use any more of his "sick" days than we needed to, knowing that we wanted me to still be able to draw a full paycheck while on maternity leave. Although I had some sick leave saved up, it was quickly used up during my disability period and we had transferred some of Elliot's sick leave to me already.
The month of December I was in pretty much constant pain from the weight of my pregnancy. I had almost 13 pounds of baby plus all the other pregnancy fluid, placenta and other "stuff." It hurt to shift in bed and walking was very slow and painful from all the weight. There was a constant pressure/pain in my pelvic area and if I moved too fast, it would become shooting pain. I was allowed to take pain medication, but I am funny in that I do not like to take lots of medicine. For example, if you see me taking some sort of pain reliever, I've had that headache for several hours. I only take medicine when I've hit my maximum pain threshold, which is pretty high. So I kept a constant supply of those popping instant ice packs to put in my underwear. Felt so wonderful and worked better than the pain medication.
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| Ahhh the home stretch! |
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| Different angles to show the immense stomach that is my boys and perhaps a few vital organs |
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| Motivation board is counting down the days! |
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| The reason I endure bedrest |
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