27 weeks and still in the hospital

Monday, October 29, 2012

I spent Sunday evening, going into Monday morning hours listening to women groaning in childbirth. My nurse checked in on me around 6am and apologized that I probably did not get much sleep due to all the birthing noises.  I asked the nurse how many babies are usually born a day at the hospital and she said sometime a couple, but some times as many as 12!  She said last night was hopping. I was wondering if this crazy weather has anything to do with Asheville baby’s deciding to make an appearance. I’ve listened to the wind howl all night. Hurricane Sandy may be destroying New Jersey and New York City areas, but here we are getting wind and spitting snow. I did only sleep on and off, but it wasn’t just because women were giving birth.  Worries about the boys, Elliot, his stress, my work situation, and everything else has only allowed me to get bits of sleep. I know my job now is to be still, pray and let God and my body try to keep these babies in. I alternate between adjusting to my new reality and trying to stay positive and trying not to cry and hold myself together. I wonder if you can get dehydrated from crying?

Mom and Day stopped by again before heading home.  They bought a pretty bouquet of pink flowers which I set in the window, since it’s a better view than the brick wall. I am thankful Mom and Day stopped by from Megan’s bridal shower and helped out with some cleaning and maintenance at home. Helps Elliot just concentrate on me and work during this time. Joan and Roland had a pretty bouquet of mixed flowers delivered and I set them in the other window.

I also had a flu vaccine while I am here. I planned on getting one anyway and if I have a reaction to it and feel bad, hey, I’m already feeling cruddy and are at a hospital.

Pretty pink flowers from my parents!

Bouquet from Elliot's grandparents. The lily's made the room smell wonderful.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Today was the big day to find out if I would be able to bed rest at home or had to stay in the hospital. To determine this, I had to have another ultrasound and cervical check. The boys are doing fine and are still breech and transverse positions. Unfortunately, whatever little bit of cervix I have left, has funneled away and I basically have nothing left. We were hoping and praying that it would stop funneling or just miraculously become grow/get longer again. So this means I will have to be on bed rest until delivering the babies. Because its twins and they are heavier than a singleton and since I had progressed to 27 weeks without incident, they cannot put a stitch in my cervix to hold it shut like they might with other women. Basically, we wait for me to start having 4-6 contractions in an hour or have discharge, which means my body is ready to deliver and its time for the boys to be born.  Also, since Baby A is breech, and my cervix is starting to open, there is a fear that a leg or the cord could slip down since the head could normally block the entrance to the cervix better. This would be bad if I was at home. Additionally, with Baby A breech and Baby B still transverse, I will have to have a C-section. I am not worried about that so much as I am delivering too early.

With this knowledge that I could deliver literally any day now, Elliot and I finally decided on the names for the boys. I was NOT going to go into the delivery room without a name for each child. When they came out I wanted them to have a name to say or call out. So Baby A will be called Jacob Alexander and Baby B will be Jonathan Wyatt. We wanted to have a Biblical name somewhere in their names and I also wanted “J” names since my mom and her twin brother are “J” names. For the middle names, we just liked the way they sounded and their meaning. Wyatt means “strong warrior” and Alexander means “defender of the people”. Pretty good I think.

Around 10:30 the on call doctor and LPN stopped by to see how I was doing. The doctor asked if I had heard about whopping cough or Pertussis and if I knew there was a shot available. The doctor mentioned that the CDC has not seen levels this high of whopping cough since the 1950s all because people are not vaccinating their children against this disease. I can get the shot and the boys will get some benefit from it since they cannot get the vaccine until they are 2 months old.

Around 5:30 Suzie Robinson, a kindergarten teacher at Woodfin, and her husband visited with me for about 30 minutes. It was nice to have them stop by, visit and pray with me. Suzie and I have similar personalities and love to laugh at life’s situations. Suzie filled me in on what was going on around school, including that my library had a sub on Monday that was crazy. The kindergarten students came back with 3-4 books each, the older kids were wild and the lesson plans went out the window! Apparently she had subbed before at Woodfin and was to never sub again at Woodfin, but somehow her name was not put on the “do not let sub ever again “ list, but after what occurred in the library, the principal made sure she never subbed for Woodfin again. Oh boy! Suzie also mentioned that between Elliot and the wonderful staff at Woodfin, I had my days covered until Christmas break! When people donate their annual leave days, it means that I will still be able to get paid for that day! With having to start my maternity leave before the boys arrived, one of my fears has been if I would still be getting a paycheck. I am so blessed and thankful to work with such wonderful people.  

My encouragement board announcing their names!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Today was the beginning of my daily routine of waking up and breakfast around 7:30. Eat and wait for the random visit by the nurse/CAN to check my vitals (blood pressure and temperature) and then ask the same questions about discharge, pain, bowel movements, swelling and the list goes on. Next, it’s time for my colace pill and my Mirolax mixed in apple juice to keep my bowels moving. Then it’s time to flush my IV with saline and put the babies on the fetal monitors to get their heartbeats. The doctors are only allowing me to shower every other day, so today was the lucky day where I got to feel normal for a few minutes by taking a shower. But since there is a seat in the shower stall, I must sit down. While I am in the shower, they change my bed linen. So every other day becomes clean sheet day! Then there is an hour to two hour lull before lunch at 11:30.

Since today was Halloween, I got a little treat on my lunch try. It was something simple and silly, but it was a nice acknowledgment that I was stuck here on a holiday. It also made me cry a little bit since I was stuck here on one of my favorite holidays and would not be able to hand out candy to the trick or treaters. I didn't get to carve a pumpkin either. Later, the hallway got quite loud and I wondered what was going on. I found out on the evening news that the children who were here for cancer treatments dressed up for Halloween and went trick or treating around the hospital. I’m glad they were able to feel like kids for a bit.

My Halloween treat in the condiment bin on my lunch tray

Joan and Roland visited me for a few minutes after lunch. It was a quick visit as it is hard for Granddaddy to get around and just getting from the visitor parking lot to the maternity maze of the 4^th floor can be a challenge. I did appreciate them stopping by; I feel forgotten and lonely at times.

I spent the rest of the afternoon reading, watching TV and napping. Later in the afternoon Elliot’s mom stopped by with some baby books for me to look over. Buying baby books was on my list to get done during the month of October, but stuck here in the hospital, I can’t get out, of course. So Jan was great enough to run around to several stores and buy several books. Elliot and I can choose the baby books we want to use and give her the rest back to return to the store.

Not long after she left it was the 4:30 dinner time. I kid you not; I eat dinner at 4:30. I have never felt so old or decrepit in my life. Most of the food is pretty decent. Usually just before or while I am eating dinner Elliot arrives and stays at least an hour or so. I feel so bad that he has to work hard at school, spend some time with me and then go home to feed the cats, feed himself and try to do chores or other pressing issues to keep the house going. I feel useless that I can’t help him more or at all really. I think this is harder on him than me. I try not to let him stay too long so he can get some rest once he gets home. Elliot usually leaves around 6-6:30 and I read or watch TV for awhile. Later, anywhere from 7:30-9:30, my night nurse comes in and does the same routine actions and questions as the morning nurse. Afterwards is more TV, reading, internet surfing, crying until 11-11:30 when I make myself go to sleep. I am not really tired, but I know I should try to sleep. It is hard sleeping alone in this lumpy hospital bed. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because of my frustration at this situation and missing sleeping next to Elliot and the cats.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Today I work up angry. Angry that I could not go home, angry that it feels like my body is failing me, angry that my room’s view stinks, angry that my pregnancy had gone from a near”perfect” multiple pregnancy to the complete opposite in less than 24 hours, angry that I don’t know when I will deliver and even angry that these boys were keeping me here. I know “blaming” the boys is awful, but I can’t help feeling like that a bit.

The good news of today was that they decided they could do less of the monitoring on the boys. Meaning instead of doing 20 minutes in the morning and another 20 minutes at night, they would only do 20 minutes on Monday mornings and then 20 minutes on Thursday mornings. The rest of the time the nurses do their daily routine with me, they only have to monitor them for a minute. Both I and the boys are excited that I won’t be literally tied down for 20+ minutes since it can be hard to get 20 continuous minutes of each baby.

My good friend Melanie sent me a box of bed rest goodies. Elliot brought the items to me at the hospital and it was great to know someone was thinking of me and my boredom during this difficult time. I also received a beautiful floral arrangement from the BCS librarians.

Later that night, I was crying when my night nurse came in to check on me. Beth was very sympathetic and wonderful. We talked for a good 10 minutes before she started her check and monitoring of me. She said it was ok to mourn the loss of my “normal” pregnancy. She said I would have great days and some sad days and that’s ok. She mentioned that one lady had been on MFMU for over 2 months now! Poor woman!

Mixed bouquet from the BCS librarians. The purple and yellow were very pretty together and even had my favorite flower, sunflowers!

Friday, November 2, 2012

The morning brought a bed linen change and a shower for me so I felt clean and slightly more human for visitors and Elliot spending the night. Elliot’s granny, Joan and her sister’s Diane and Gloria stopped by around lunch time to check in on me. Since I do not know Gloria at all, it was a bit awkward, especially when she hugged me, but it was nice that they stopped by.

Today was an ok day. Elliot would be staying the night because it was the weekend so I was excited and grateful for that. We had planned that he would go home for a bit to handle things and then pick up dinner and a movie. I wanted La Caretta so he picked me up some yummy quesadillas and the movie of my choice, Dark Shadows, which in the previews looked to be a comedy. The movie was just strange, long and not funny at all. What a disappointment, but at least Elliot and I were together again. One of the things I miss most is just being in the same room as my husband.

27 weeks and in the hospital

Front view of 27 weeks. Elliot does not like this picture since it looks like I'm about to cry. I was.

My straight ahead view when laying in the bed. The nurses put the date, the nurse on duty's name, the plan for me that day and mark how many weeks and days I have made it in my pregnancy. Some days I really like this board to keep me updated and encouraged. Other days I want to throw something at it.